Brownie's Academy Award Coverage!

Hewwo! It's Brownie, live from my living room covering the Oscars!
I'm reporting from my house because a.) it's rainy and cold and I hate being wet and cold and b.) I wasn't invited.
Well, I did get to interview some celebrities on the red carpet before I came home to curl up in some warm laundry. Want to see?

Hewwo from the Red Carpet! (I totally peed on that fake Oscar statue.)

Here I am trying to get Julia Robert's attention! You'd think she'd notice me right away. After all, we dated for much of the time in between that weird "what was she thinking?" marriage to Lyle Lovett and before she dated Benjamin Bratt. What ever happened to him?

Hey Julia! JULIA! Hewwo!

Hey, it's Pharrell Williams with his date Tootie from "The Facts of Life"!
What? That's his wife, not Tootie? Wow, how embawassing.

Pharrell's ankles are showing. I was tempted to bite them.

It's Angelina Jolie, wearing a sequined dress inspired by a Maury Povich lie detector test!

The spiked areas show deceit!

My favorite moment of the night was when I got to meet Jennifer Lawrence. I volunteer as tribute! Here I am, asking Jennifer, "What are you wearing?" but right then she decided to scratch my tickle spot and my rear leg started going off so all I can do is look away and have a Joey Lawrence WHOA! moment.

Sigh. I <3 you, Jennifer.

Oh yeah, a bunch of people won things.
Gwavity! Dawwas Buyews Cwub! 12 Years a Swave!
And a bunch of classy people sat in the audience and clapped and tried to look happy for their competitors, even though they were probably bored and hungry and worried about their Spanx rolling down and wished it was the Golden Globes where they could drink and eat and have actual fun.

My final thought on the evening...Bette Midler looks weird skinny. Some people need a body proportionate to their head. See: Oprah; Jennifer Hudson.. Just saying.

That's all! Signing off from Hollywood, California AND my couch, it's....

BROWNIE
xoxo