What I'm Thankful For

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I've been thinking about how thankful I am. Every year around the food bowls, my family and I say at least one thing we're thankful for--I usually just say "food" and shove something in my mouth.
This year, though, I want to tell you what's important to me:

Friends and Family!

My BFF, Lucky

This is Lucky. He's my best friend in the whole world! Lucky is spending Thanksgiving at my house because his family is traveling. Lucky helps me seek and destroy slippers, but we never get in trouble--how could we? Mommies can't punish you when you have friends over.

Look what happened to my other friend today. This is Mika. He and his sister Izzy come into the bakery every week or so to visit and eat treats. Today Mika came in solo. Uh-oh. Turns out Izzy ran off today and Mika and his parents had to go all over the place, looking for Izzy! They finally found her and as punishment, Izzy had to stay home while Mika got to come in and eat a huge piece of cake, all to himself.

Mika, the good dog!

Moral of the story? Don't go "exploring" outside of your yard without permission. And certainly don't do it on the day Mommy & Daddy were going to take you to the Village to go to the dog bakery! Oh, and don't give your brother an attitude when he comes home and his breath smells like cake.

A couple years ago, I was sleeping outside on a piece of cardboard, sometimes in the rain. Now I have a family who loves me, and lots of friends, and a sister and a Work Mommy. I pretty much hit the doggy Superlotto!

Hewwo! Don't I look thankful?

Just a little reminder that not every dog is as lucky as I am. If you can help any dog find a home, even if it's for a little while, I'll love you forever. They'll love you forever. Thanksgiving goes both ways, and dogs have a way of showing their thanks every day.

That's as mushy as I'll get today. Happy Thanksgiving! Really.
Pass the gravy!

America's Next Top Dog Model Is...

I only have one photo in my hands. The name of the dog I do not call must immediately go back to the house, pack their bags, and leave the competition. Nikita? Dexter? Brownie?

America's. Next. Top. Dog. Model. Is...

Dexter, Nikita, and me (Brownie)

Awww, who are we kidding? We're all winners--you know, not of money or prizes or anything useful--but of life in general.

Today, we had a photo shoot. It was a glittering, glamorous affair, filled with supermodels and champagne (actually, just us and a few Peanut Mutter cookies to entice us to stand still in our outfits,) while loud techno music thumped in the background. I could be wrong about the music though, it could have just been the sound of the Kitchenaid mixer.

Backstage we each scrambled into our outfits while Fur & Makeup fussed around us, making us look picture perfect. Soon, the stage manager (Work Mommy) looked at her clipboard, shouted our names and pushed us onto the runway while Real Mommy clapped and yelled, "Work it!"

Dexter, sporting a snowflake sweater, Christmas bowtie and Miley Cyrus tongue

Dexter wearing a thermal shearling-trimmed hoodie. Work that smile!

Me, modeling red thermal onesie pajamas! They let my bum stick out the back. Really.

This bowtie is a babe-magnet!

For the finale, Nikita came out. We saved her for last because she's like the world's best dog supermodel. She knows the ins and outs of modeling and is very experienced! A customer came in one time and called Nikita "old"--would you call Christie Brinkley old? How rude, right? Work Mommy says Nikita just has white highlights.

Nikita working a dusty rose cable knit sweater. Gorgeous!

After we all worked the runway, we all came back out to show off our outfits while our adoring fans (mommies) clapped and cheered. Then we all ate a proper meal because we had dieted for a whole hour before the fashion show. That was awful! I hope I never have to go another hour without eating again.

XOXO,
Brownie

Girl, Look At That Body!

I work out!
I work out!
I'm sexy and I know it....

I can't see the pedometer!

I am reminded of an interview with John Travolta who was talking to Oprah. She commented that, like her, his weight had gone up and down. She asked him:
"Do you work out?"
John said, "When the role requires it."

That's sort of like me! I have a big photo shoot tomorrow and want to look good. I mean, tomorrow is Frosting Day, but I have to model first. Work Mommy is putting on a doggy fashion show with all the new Winter/Holiday apparel--sweaters, collars, scarves, you name it. I'm going to turn it out! I can eat frosting afterwards and still collect my check, yo! Dog's gotta get paid.

So I pulled up my metaphorical big dog panties today and worked out, first on the treadmill, then on to my stretches.

You can tell I'm really in the zone here, plus I'm totally rocking the track suit sweater! I can't even tell you how many women ooohed and ahhhhed over me when I wore this. Chicks dig athletes.

After such a long, strenuous day, I really needed to be pampered. Real Mommy hooked me up with a full body massage! I asked for the hot stone therapy, but she told me to suck it up and appreciate what I was given. Yeesh, it's not like a sent back my protein shake with zinc/vitamin C booster for being room temperature (even though I wanted to!)

Do not disturb!

I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow so I'll sign off now. Wish me luck on the runway!

That's What Friends Are For!

I know I usually talk about my job and my family, but today I want to tell you about a couple of my friends who need help.

This is Chopper (come on, look at that smile! Are those veneers?) and Peanut. Their mommy died a few months ago and their daddy was so distraught, he couldn't take care of them. He left them in a hotel room where he knew they would be found and hoped someone would come along to give them a new life.

Chopper (45 lb. Shepherd mix)

 Peanut (10 lb. Chihuahua) & Chopper: buddies forever!

My mommy rescued them from the hotel room and brought them to a vet, where Chopper & Peanut have been kenneled. Kennels aren't very fun. They keep you safe and dry, but there's not much cuddling or frosting and there's no one to kiss. My friends really need someone to step up and save them and they would be forever grateful! They will kiss you and slobber you and play with toys and be your best friends! They need to be together though--really. They've been through these tough times together and couldn't take any more loss.

Can you imagine how amazing your holidays would be this year, knowing you saved 2 of the best dogs you'll ever meet? They like other dogs, love people, ignore cats (hey, that's hard!), are playful and sweet--heck, they're making me look bad. Chopper & Peanut are better than a new XBox One or flat screen tv or iPhone. iPhones don't cuddle.

If you want to be these dogs' hero(es), please email my mommy at jkmenell@charter.net so you can meet my buddies. If you can foster them or even better, be their forever family, I will personally pledge to thank you by not biting the UPS guy's ankle the next time he comes in. Really.

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days...

Oh man. Where do I even start?
Okay, I'll show you, but when you come into the store, I don't want you to snicker or point or laugh. I don't mock you on Bath Day, do I? This was how my day started, which was not cool. I woke up happy, thinking, "Today is Frosting Day! Woohoo!" and then my mommy, who does grooming, said she had time to give me a bath. Crap.

I am unhappy. Really.

After I endured the humiliation (complete with random customers looking in at me through the little window to the grooming room, declaring that I look "so cute!" and that I look like I'm enjoying the dryer--really?--I looked like I was enjoying the dryer?!) I tried to forget about my morning in anticipation of the most important moment of my week: frosting!

I had company this week and Work Mommy made me wait until my guests arrived before she'd let us lick the frosting beater. My best friends Lucky and Balboa joined Nikita and me for special peanut butter frosting! Balboa is a little shy when food is served, but Lucky? Lucky pushes his way to the front of the line like it's 5 a.m. on Black Friday at Walmart and he has to have that $2 waffle iron. He don't play!

Lucky a.k.a. Wiggle Britches

After Lucky got up close and personal with the frosting, he had to get a bath from my mom too. Ha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who was soaped and sudsed like a baby! Yeah, I'm still mad, so what? After his bath, Lucky wouldn't even look at my mommy, he was so mad. We all decided to band together and distract Work Mommy with our collective cuteness so that she'd give us cookies and share her lunch with us. (Sucker!)

The 4 Amigos

I had a lot of excitement today and I'm pretty sleepy. Time for me to get my beauty rest. Until next time...

My Day Off

Hewwo!
It's not easy being an indispensable employee at the bakery. I mean, who else is going to bark to let my mommies know when people come in or clean all the dishes or find the crumbs that fall on the floor? Mine are very long work days, too. If dog years are roughly 7:1, then my work hours come out to be about...let's see, 7 times 8, carry the 1....huh. Well, it's long. Trust me.

When I finally get a day off (aren't there dog labor laws in this country?) I have so much to do! First, I have to clean my room and gather all the laundry.

Then I have to fold it all when it comes out of the dryer. It's very warm, so I like to tunnel into it to sleep---err, find any socks with static cling. Yeah. That's it. Static cling.

After that, I have to make sure I take good care of Nikita. She's a little older than I am, so it's important that she gets her exercise, plenty of rest and a good face massage. I only do this for her. In no way am I using her for her warmth, I just want to make that clear.

Tomorrow I go back to work. I would retire but Work Mommy would be lost without me. Plus, it's baking day and she needs me to act as Quality Control. I'll try to leave some cookies for the rest of you, but I'm not going to make any promises.

We Are Family

A few weeks ago, I was at work and Work Mommy told someone that Nikita and I were brother and sister and they asked her, "They're from the same litter?"

Really?

Nikita and I do everything together. We walk together, we nap together, we work together, we try to eat together but Real Mommy seems to think she has to keep us separate so I don't eat Nikita's food. I'm just testing it for her, in case it's too hot or too cold or poisoned or something. You'd think she'd be grateful I'm so selfless, but nooooo....it's "Brownie, stop eating her food!" or "Brownie, that's not yours!" I can't catch a break. I tried to test the cat's food too but no one seems to appreciate the fact that I'm just looking out for them.

Cat Diary, Day 429: The little dog is still here, trying to eat my food. Not cool. Also, leave my litter box alone!

Well, that's my family. We really do love each other. My family is like my own little portable space heater--I cozy up to everyone and enjoy their warmth. I also ignore their personal space boundaries, but that's what family is for...

I Love Thursdays! Wait, No I Don't.

FROSTING DAY!
 I know most dogs (and people) don't think this is a real day, but where I work every Thursday is Frosting Day! Really.
 Since I work at a bakery, I'm constantly surrounded by yummy things I'm not supposed to steal and eat. But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how is a dog NOT supposed to sample all the goodies, I ask you? So when Thursdays roll around and Work Mommy makes a big batch of dog-friendly frosting, I sit on her feet until she notices me and lets me lick the beater.
 Sometimes I have to share it with my best friend Lucky, my co-worker Dexter, and my sister Nikita. Today, it was just me and my sister, so I tried to keep up because her tongue is so much bigger than mine.

Jeez Nikita, where'd you get that huge tongue? Costco? I may have given Work Mommy sad eyes(tm) so she'd let me have an extra lick or two without any competition. Nikita likes Frosting Day almost as much as I do, so I have to work fast.

Up until this point, I was having a great day! I barked, I got belly rubs, I howled. Life was good! Then....this.

Really?

Work Mommy had me model our new Christmas bow ties, which, you know, was fine. But then she picked me up and paraded me around the store, taking my paw and "waving" at the customers! Man. How will I ever show my face at the dog park again? Will I ever get another date? Does anyone know what "dapper" means, because she kept saying how handsome and "dapper" I looked.  Will the security guards ever fear me again, because a dog in a bow tie does not look threatening! I'm going to have to bite a lot of ankles to get my rep back.

[Shameless plug: Holiday bow ties available at Three Dog Bakery in Lake Arrowhead, CA. E-mail my mommies and they'll hook you up! tdb@threedogbakeryarrowhead.com]

My Typical Day

Hewwo again.
 Since I'm a working dog--not like a Border Collie or Shetland Sheepdog or any of those other dogs that chase around farm animals and call it "work"--a real, honest-to-goodness 9 to 5 working dog, I thought I would share my typical day.
 I get to work after barking at all the security guards (they drive silly little golf carts and I feel like it's my calling, no, duty! to let them know who's really in charge.) It's November and it's chilly. Don't believe anyone who says I have enough body fat to keep me warm because I'm skinny and freezing! I'm a twig, I tell you! So I park my rear end right against the bakery case exhaust vent which is nice and toasty.

 After I warm up for 3 hours, it's time for lunch.
 Work Mommy makes miso soup every day and I have my own dish. We eat together in Miso Corner, which is the lunch table in the back room. I named it Miso Corner all by my myself because it's in a corner and it's where I eat miso. See what I did there?

 Real Mommy wants me to get some real work done, so I get to work on all the accounting and emails. There's so much to do! I really need an assistant. I sort of look like I belong on the set of Mad Men here, don't I? Just pour me a scotch and call me Dog Draper.

 Well, that's about it. Thanks for joining me at work. I'm pretty tired now so I'm going to go home and curl up in a nice big pile of warm laundry and possibly chew on Mommy's slipper. The only one that's left. (Don't ask about the other one, please.)

Hewwo.

 Work Mommy calls me Chunk-o-Munk, because when I was adopted, I weighed 8 pounds. That was last year. Now I weigh 16. When she picks me up, I make a little grunting sound that sort of sounds like, "Hhhuuuuuhhhh."
 I enjoy belly rubs and short walks, because I have short legs. I like being held and I hate being cold. That's a little bit about me, which is good because I have a short attention spa---SQUIRREL!