We're 175 Years Old!

Remember all those cool toys I got for for my birthday a few weeks ago?

What? The ball exploded. I blame it on Global Warming.

Yeaaahhhh...those tennis balls might not be totally intact anymore. I'm not saying I did it, but Work Mommy may have caught me with a neon pink felt Fu Man Chu mustache before this photo was taken.

So much has happened since I last posted! Work Mommy broke her wrist, which means she can't pick me up and that, my friends, is total poop. How can she not pick me up? I'm irresistable! Also, Real Mommy bought a new car. Now, in the old car, I always rode shotgun. I was Mommy's Wing Man. I would look out over the steering wheel, stick my nose in her leftover Starbucks coffee cup, tell her when to turn, you know--the typical co-pilot stuff. But now I'm relegated to the back--THE BACK!!--with Peanut and Chopper like I'm some second class citizen. I have to sit on an old sheet instead of sinking into the new luxurious leather seats, sort of like I'm a sick toddler who might barf en route to the pediatrician. Humiliating.

Oh wait. Someone seems to have hijacked the front seat, pretending he's asleep so he won't get busted.

Faker. You know Mommy's watching you, Chopper.

By the way, it's Three Dog Bakery's 25th birthday this weekend! Stop by the store at Lake Arrowhead Village on Saturday, June 21st from 1-4 p.m. and score some free cake and ice cream! Work Mommy is busy making ice cream and puptarts for us puppies and Mommy is getting yummy ice cream from our awesome neighbor Village Ice Cream & Sweet Shoppe! There will be cupcakes too, which Work Mommy might hide in her wrist cast and take home, so come early before she eats them all. I'm not kidding. She totally would.

We're turning 175 in dog years! Woohoo! Come paw-ty with us!

Love,

Brownie

We're Gonna' Party Like It's Your Birthday!

Okay, my birthday!
You guessed it--it was my birthday! I turned 5 years old on Sunday, because that's the age Real Mommy guessed I am and it's the day Work Mommy picked as my special day! All I know is that when I woke up on Sunday, Daddy gave me soft birthday spankings. He gave me 12. Call me crazy, but 12 is a lot more than 5. Either Real Daddy can't count, or he thinks I qualify for the senior discount at Denny's.

Take the picture, because I am so ripping this hat off in 4 seconds

The day was all about me, of course, so there was a cake, balloons, presents and food! Work Mommy made beef and brown rice "cupcakes", frosted with mashed potatoes, because she knows my favorite foods (i.e. "edible".) I didn't think I'd have to share, but Mommy said something about manners and being gracious and some other nonsense that meant less food for me.

Birthdays=cake!

We're like a team of superheroes: The Tongue (Dexter), me, Diaper Boy (Peanut) and Stealthy (Oscar, in back)

Real Mommy and Work Mommy gave me toys and my nana gave me lots of presents, because that's what grandmas do. She spoils me. There were toys and cookies and this! This is awesome because it totally sums me up:

I can't help it. I'm awesome.

After all the food and cake and presents and excitement, I was totally exhausted. I crawled into my bed (okay, Dexter's bed) under the bakery oven and fell asleep. I was out. When I woke up, Work Mommy kissed me on the nose, told me she loved me, and then walked me outside to go home...then I accidentally peed all over my new Big Deal t-shirt. It wasn't my fault. Really.   

Oh, before I forget, I have to skip this week's installment of What's on Chopper's Forehead? because last time, Chopper whined like a girl when we took the sticker off. He said it was like getting an eyebrow wax. Heh.

Thanks, everyone. Turning 5 was awesome! I love you all!*

Brownie <3

*I don't really love everyone. I don't love the security guards at work (except Charlie, he's cool) and I think the UPS guys are evil. Also, the maintenance guys need to respect my bark. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

Pass the Kibble!

Hewwo!

May marks the beginning of my bakery's Dog Food Drive. My mommy chose A Passion for Paws as her rescue of choice to receive all of your pledges. You can come in or call and say, "Yo, I want to feed a hungry dog!" and your money goes directly towards buying them dog food. My mommies will put your name up on the wall so everyone can see how generous you are! Thank you!

No dog should go hungry. Really.

Work Mommy's birthday was a couple weeks ago and Real Mommy gave her THIS:

I know, right? Extreme close-upppppp!

EPIC WIN!

One of the things I overhear while I'm trying to sleep underneath the bakery oven is, "Have those 2 dogs from the hotel found a home yet?" They're talking about Peanut and Chopper. The answer is no, they haven't found a home yet, unless you count MY home as A home. For the most part we get along, but Chopper is a bit of a dork, always running around and playing tug-o-war with towels and blankets and trying to get Work Mommy to play with him instead of holding and cuddling me (which is totally not cool.) Everyone seems to think he's smart, which is debatable...sure, he can play fetch and High Five and speak on command and shake hands. Blah, blah, blah. As an example of the true nature of Chopper, I give you this week's episode of:

What's on Chopper's Forehead?

True story.

That's all from here. I have to go think of ways to embarrass Chopper. Not that it's hard...he gives me so much material to work with.

Until we meet again!

BROWNIE

(If you want to help us raise dog food funds for A Passion for Paws, stop by Three Dog Bakery at Lake Arrowhead Village or call us at (909) 337-3157! It's easy! Every dollar buys a hungry dog one meal!)

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

A funny thing has been happening lately...people have been noticing me!
Two years ago, my mommy had me in the store every day while I was up for adoption. I used to wear an "Adopt Me!" bandana. People said I was cute.....but no one wanted me.
Finally, Mommy brought me home and that was that. Once you foster a dog in your house, forget it. 98% of the time, you've got yourself a new forever companion. Game over. We kick off our metaphorical doggy slippers, put our paws behind our head, and make ourselves really comfortable.

No one wanted me? Really?

Anyway, lately, people have been coming into the store, telling me how cute I am. Or when Work Mommy is carrying me around, kids come in and beg their parents to adopt me! I have a home (and my own bakery) now, but everyone seems to love me. In fact, our little village had a coloring contest for Kids Activity Day, and three of the pictures they could color were of ME! Yes, me! All the kids did a great job (and one contestant colored me as a girl! I would be an adorable girl....) but here's the one I chose as the winner:

Today, a coloring contest. Tomorrow, Hollywood! Cartoons! Stuffed animals! Deals with Taco Bell!

In other news, I've decided to stop asking you all to adopt Chopper and Peanut. Instead, I've decided to behave like a big brother to them, sometimes allowing Peanut to sleep in my bed and wear the clothes I've outgrown and occasionally tormenting Chopper by placing stickers on his forehead. I now present to you a little something I'd like to call:

What's On Chopper's Forehead?

It could have been worse: I could have stuck his paw in warm water while he slept

Heh. Yeah, I'm a stinker.

The Real Slim Shady--err, Brownie

So, last week I was busily sleeping underneath the bakery oven when a family came in, making a big fuss over Chopper and Peanut. It went down like this:

Family: "Ohhhh! Look at the big one! He's so beautiful! Can I give him a treat?"

Work Mommy: "Sure!" (She hands them a cookie)

Family: "The Chihuahua wants one too!"

Work Mommy gives Peanut a cookie.

I got up to get in on the free Cookiepalooza event and one of the women in the group said:

"Look! The fat one got up for a cookie too!"

Excuse me?

I looked at Work Mommy and she covered my ears. She said, "I know she wasn't talking about you, Brownie! That would have been WUDE." The woman laughed and paid for her items and left. I went back to my bed underneath the oven and sulked.

I am 16 pounds of love and cuteness! So I'm not a thin Greyhound or a sleek little Whippet! Get over it, people.

Do other dogs get special heart-shaped cakes made just for them?

Work Mommy loves me no matter what

A portion is defined as how much I can fit in my mouth

I may have gained a few pounds since getting out of the shelter and starting work at the bakery, but really? Who would you trust? A skinny chef who obviously doesn't eat their own cooking or a Rubenesque Julia Child-type who lovingly tastes each dish to make sure it's perfect?

This used to be what I looked like, but it was literally the day after I got out of the shelter! Not exactly 4 star cuisine...

I may need to cut back a little or go for a few more walks....or join a dog gym. Do they accept dogs at the YMCA?

I need a cookie.

XOXO,

Brownie

Brownie's Academy Award Coverage!

Hewwo! It's Brownie, live from my living room covering the Oscars!
I'm reporting from my house because a.) it's rainy and cold and I hate being wet and cold and b.) I wasn't invited.
Well, I did get to interview some celebrities on the red carpet before I came home to curl up in some warm laundry. Want to see?

Hewwo from the Red Carpet! (I totally peed on that fake Oscar statue.)

Here I am trying to get Julia Robert's attention! You'd think she'd notice me right away. After all, we dated for much of the time in between that weird "what was she thinking?" marriage to Lyle Lovett and before she dated Benjamin Bratt. What ever happened to him?

Hey Julia! JULIA! Hewwo!

Hey, it's Pharrell Williams with his date Tootie from "The Facts of Life"!
What? That's his wife, not Tootie? Wow, how embawassing.

Pharrell's ankles are showing. I was tempted to bite them.

It's Angelina Jolie, wearing a sequined dress inspired by a Maury Povich lie detector test!

The spiked areas show deceit!

My favorite moment of the night was when I got to meet Jennifer Lawrence. I volunteer as tribute! Here I am, asking Jennifer, "What are you wearing?" but right then she decided to scratch my tickle spot and my rear leg started going off so all I can do is look away and have a Joey Lawrence WHOA! moment.

Sigh. I <3 you, Jennifer.

Oh yeah, a bunch of people won things.
Gwavity! Dawwas Buyews Cwub! 12 Years a Swave!
And a bunch of classy people sat in the audience and clapped and tried to look happy for their competitors, even though they were probably bored and hungry and worried about their Spanx rolling down and wished it was the Golden Globes where they could drink and eat and have actual fun.

My final thought on the evening...Bette Midler looks weird skinny. Some people need a body proportionate to their head. See: Oprah; Jennifer Hudson.. Just saying.

That's all! Signing off from Hollywood, California AND my couch, it's....

BROWNIE
xoxo

Goodbye, Nikita

I haven't wanted to post this because it hurts just to write it, but we had to say goodbye to my beautiful sister Nikita a few weeks ago. At age 14, she lost her battle with cancer.

Sweetest dog in the world

Nikita loved everyone and everyone loved her. She would greet everyone who came into the store with a bark "hello" and a smile. When she'd get really excited and happy, she'd smile and show teeth and do a little hop like she was on hydraulics!  Someone said Nikita was getting "mean"once when she showed her teeth like that and Mommy said, "That's how she smiles!" Duh! Nikita didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Nikita loved a good party!

I was so lucky to have Nikita for my sister. She always let me snuggle up to her when I was cold, she always shared her big dental bone with me when I was tired of getting the little ones, and she never made me feel bad for being the new kid on the block when Mommy brought me home as a foster dog. I will miss her forever!

Nikita never complained when I used her as a pillow


Goodbye Nikita! We wish you could have been with us longer, but even 100 years would have felt too short. XOXO

Talk To The Paw

Remember when I told you about Peanut & Chopper needing a home? The mommies have been asking for donations to help pay for boarding and so many people contributed! Thank you! Well, the other day, the place Peanut & Chopper were being boarded said they had to leave. They had been there too long. I don't really understand that, since Mommy had been paying for them to stay there, but what do I know? I'm a dog. I asked Work Mommy if she could explain it to me and she said no, she didn't understand either, which makes me wonder what her excuse is.

Real Mommy is a Leave No Dog Behind kind of lady, so she knew she had to do something. She talked to Real Daddy and they decided to bring Peanut & Chopper home with them until we can find them a foster home.

Peanut: I think he might be wearing my old harness that kind of doesn't fit me anymore due to Frosting Day

Chopper, looking handsome and pooped out after playing catch with Work Mommy all afternoon

So anyway, when I said my friends needed a home, I didn't necessarily mean MY home, which, you know, is mine. I mean, Nikita is the Top Dog and may have been there first, but we have an understanding that as long as I don't make too many demands or eat too many of her clothes, I can be the Runner-Up Dog. I have a particular way of doing things--I like to mess up the warm laundry by myself and I like to use Mommy's back as lumbar support while we watch t.v. and I like to eat my slippers in private, thankyouverymuch!

When Peanut & Chopper came into the house, I was like, "What the diggity? Why are you sniffing around my couch?" They went all around the house and checked out the yard where I chase chipmunks. They jumped up on furniture and jumped back down. They checked out every inch of our house! I was afraid I would have to share my bed with these newbies but Mommy set up a crate for them in a separate area so I did what any self -respecting dog would do in my situation:
I went and peed in their crate to show them what's what.

Yeah. That's right. I do what I want.